Thought Tuesday

Stud Fashion Muffin 

Back in the day women were desperate to have that “hour glass” figure. They would cinch themselves into uncomfortable tight corsets thought by many to be a vessel of sin. In a desperate attempt to achieve the ideal, some women had their lower ribs surgically removed.

Wow. We haven’t progressed much, have we?

“Corset diseases” such as fainting, hemorrhoids, coughing, and palpitations plagued many fashionable women. Corsets could displace internal organs and cause pulmonary disease, and occasionally led to miscarriages. They were eventually replaced in the 1930s by less constricting, but still reshaping, girdles. Now, in our modern, progressive fashionable advances, we have replaced the corset with skinny jeans.

I hate skinny jeans. I spent a lot of time at the high school.  I am overwhelmed by the number of girls with misshapen legs and hips due to this “tool” of fashion. Whatever Hollywood twit made these things fashionable again should be on my hit list for obvious reasons, but now…it turns out that skinny jeans are bad for your health. Apparently, they cut off a person’s circulation.

That explains it, doesn’t it?

Seriously, why do so many like the way skinny jeans look? Hello? Not to mention there really is no debate about their comfort level. The looser the better if you ask me. What better reason would there be to ditch these fashion statements than a health reason: Doctors say increasing numbers of women are coming to them with meralgia paresthetica.


I’m not making this up. I found a few stories on the inter-net dating back to 2009. Seriously people, why are these jeans still on the market?

Do you ever feel a numb, pins-and-needles tingling feeling along your thigh? Do you get a weird burning or itching sensation down your upper leg? This condition is caused by constant pressure cutting off the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve.

According to a story on MSNBC on 5/22/2009 entitled “Skinny jeans give thigh nerve a painful pinch”, one skinny jean wearer, went to her doctor because it felt like she was “floating” and she couldn’t feel her legs. Another woman in a story found on CBS admitted her jean pain was so bad that her doctor now has her taking anti-seizure medicine to control her symptoms.

Come on ladies! Loosen up!

Luckily, the damage is usually not permanent. The key is, you remove the pressure, and the nerve regenerates.

I knew it. I’m clairvoyant. Really. THAT’S why I never wear ‘em. Seriously. Has nothing to do with Le Top de la Muffin.

We need to start a complain to make yoga pants and Birkenstocks a competitive fashion statement.

Who’s with me?


Originally posted 27th January 2011 by Wendy Boyack on Resigning as the General Manager of the Universe.  Modified 12 August, 2017.

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