In President Russell M. Nelson’s talk, “Peacemakers Needed” in April 2023, he taught,
“Civility and decency seem to have disappeared during this era of polarization and passionate disagreements.”
“Vulgarity, fault finding, and evil speaking of others are all too common.”
“I am greatly concerned that so many people seem to believe that it is completely acceptable to condemn, malign, and vilify anyone who does not agree with them.”
“As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are to be examples of how to interact with others—especially when we have differences of opinion.” (“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023).
When armed men came into the garden of Gethsemane to capture Jesus, Peter tried to defend Him. Drawing his sword, Peter cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest. (See John 18:10, Matthew 26:51, Mark 54:47, Luke 22:50.) Before healing Malchus’s ear, Jesus corrected Peter:
“Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” Matthew 26:52
Confrontation is not the answer. Anger and violence can be contagious. Combative behavior or words tend to increase division and decrease trust.
Perhaps that’s why Alma found that “the preaching of the word…had a more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword” (Alma 31:5). Perhaps that’s also why the Lamanites who converted to the gospel through the preaching of the sons of Mosiah buried their weapons and refused to defend themselves. (See Alma 24:12-28.). It makes sense!
Mormon tells us that when their enemies attacked them and saw that they would not fight back, many of them “threw down their weapons of war, and they would not take them again” (Alma 24:25). When your perceived enemy isn’t fighting back, you may be more inclined to ask yourself why you are still fighting. It worked when my brother would chase me. When I sat down, he stopped.
Many wars have been fought. Many lives have been lost. Many fight claiming to have God on their side. Is it productive?
President Russell M. Nelson taught:
“Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions….”
This is the time to learn how to create creative, inspiring solutions.
“Now is the time to bury your weapons of war. If your verbal arsenal is filled with insults and accusations, now is the time to put them away.”
“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023, italics in original
What would happen if we all put down our swords and listened to each other?
Today, I commit to being a peacemaker. I will strive to put away my sword and to bury my weapons of war. I will remember that peace and patience can be far more impactful and persuasive than contention and hostility.
Additionally, sometimes, the best answer is no answer at all. You know, “if you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing at all.”
Jesus usually responded to questions and requests, even when the other person appeared to be combative. However, at the end of His life, as He endured a series of unjust trials, He responded to some questions with stoic silence. When the chief priest asked Him to respond to the testimony of false witnesses, “He held his peace” (Matthew 26:62-63). When Herod “questioned with him in many words,” the Savior, “answered him nothing” (Luke 23:9). As He stood before Pilate, “the chief priests accused him of many things: but he answered nothing.” Pilate was perplexed, “Answerest thou nothing?” he asked. “Behold how many things they witness against thee.” But He remained calm and silent, “so that Pilate marvelled” (Mark 15:3-5).
Alma and Amulek found themselves in a similar situation while serving the people. After witnessing the horrific martyrdom of the women and children who believed, the chief judge said, “Ye see that ye had not power to save those who had been cast into the fire; neither has God saved them because they were of thy faith.” Then he asked, “What say ye for yourselves?” (Alma 14:15). When “Alma and Amulek answered him nothing,” he had them thrown into prison. Three days later, a group of lawyers and judges came to the prison and “questioned them about many words; but they answered them nothing.” The chief priest asked, “Why do ye not answer the words of this people? Know ye not that I have power to deliver you up unto the flames? And he commanded them to speak; but they answered nothing” (Alma 14:15-19).
Elder Neil L. Andersen said:
“There are times when being a peacemaker means that we resist the impulse to respond and instead, with dignity, remain quiet….
Jesus taught us to withdraw from the circle of anger and contention. In one example, after the Pharisees confronted Jesus and counseled how they might destroy Him, the scriptures say that Jesus withdrew Himself from them, and miracles occurred as “great multitudes followed him, and he healed them all.”
(“Following Jesus: Being a Peacemaker,” General Conference, April 2022).
President Nelson further taught,
“Before His death, the Savior commanded His Twelve Apostles to love one another as He had loved them.4 And then He added, “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”5
The Savior’s message is clear: His true disciples build, lift, encourage, persuade, and inspire—no matter how difficult the situation. True disciples of Jesus Christ are peacemakers.6 (“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023).
We need to stop. And listen. Listen Deeply. Listen for understanding. Listen with Love.
Are we willing to bear the consequences of what we are saying or how we are “listening” to others?
Peace comes as we listen for understanding… as we listen as Jesus would listen, seeing the other person as He sees them.
I was listening to a podcast this week and this comment struck me. I even paused the podcast to write it down.
“We are willing to be right at the cost of our humanity.” – Aubrey Marcus
Is it really worth that?
What would Jesus do?
Have you ever noticed just how much listening Jesus and the Father do vs. how little they need to say to bring light and understanding to the conversation?
Hear people, not parties. Hear people, not philosophies. Then solutions and healing can begin.
For me, passing judgment is labeling – an insinuation of a claim of identity. We are assigning a definition of who someone is rather than seeing them as God sees them. Discernment is seeing things as they really are – seeing things as Jesus sees them with true understanding.
It is time to leave judgment to The Judge.
It reminds me of the contention as a group of people surrounded a woman caught in sin. I imagine she felt alone in a crowd. Jesus listened. He did not pass judgment. – the one guy who can pass judgment. He saw her. He saw her past. He saw her heart. He saw the accusers and their past and their hearts. Then, drawing in the dirt he asked one simple question.
People do not need our judgment. Trust me, they can create enough for themselves.
President Nelson taught,
“They need to experience the pure love of Jesus Christ reflected in your words and actions.” (“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023).
We all need to experience the pure love of Christ. Look around. At one time or another, we have all felt alone in a crowd… like The Beatles song, “All the lonely people. Where do they belong?” (Eleanor Rigby, The Beatles, 1966). Well… they belong here. What we all seek is to be seen, to be heard, and to feel loved.
Today, I commit to speak and listen in ways that uplift other people. I will recognize that words are not always needed, and I will discipline myself to not talk when it’s time not to talk. Today I commit to listening for understanding.
Pres Nelson further taught,
“Charity is the antidote to contention. Charity is the spiritual gift that helps us to cast off the natural man, who is selfish, defensive, prideful, and jealous. Charity is the principal characteristic of a true follower of Jesus Christ.13 Charity defines a peacemaker.” (“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023).
In his epistle to the Colossians, the apostle Paul explains how we ought to live if we “be risen with Christ” (Colossians 3:1). We need to set aside things like “anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy,” and “filthy communication.” In their place, we need to acquire “bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness,” and “longsuffering.” After listing these positive attributes, he adds:
“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.”
What does it mean for charity to be the “bond of perfectness?”
A bond is something that holds things together. It can refer to a substance which connects physical objects, a legal agreement, or a close relationship between people. The Greek word translated “bond” in this passage, sundesmos (σύνδεσμος), can refer to a rope or chain, a ligament, or even a conjunction (which holds the parts of a sentence together.
The word translated “perfectness,” teleiotés (τελειότης), is a form of the word Jesus used when He admonished us to be perfect. (See Matthew 5:48, 3 Nephi 12:48.) It could also be translated “wholeness” or “completeness.”
So the “bond of perfectness” is the attribute that holds everything together. As we become more perfect or complete, charity is the attribute that helps all of the other attributes work together in harmony and unity.
Charity also enables us to achieve unity with other people. In his epistle to the Ephesians, Paul urges them “to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). And in a revelation given through Joseph Smith, the Lord combines these two types of bond:
“And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” D&C 88:125
I like the idea that charity functions as a bond of both perfectness and peace. It helps me become more complete, integrating the other positive attributes that God is helping me develop. It also helps me become more united with other people. It holds me together, and it holds us together. Unity. That’s the goal.
No wonder Nephi said that unless we have charity, we are nothing. (See 2 Nephi 26:30.) No wonder Moroni testified that without charity, we cannot inherit the place Jesus has prepared for us in the mansions of His Father. (See Ether 12:34.)
No wonder Mormon taught that faith, hope, and meekness must be combined with charity. “All things must fail,” he warned, “but charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him [or her]” (Moroni 7:47; see also 1 Corinthians 13:8). Charity is the glue that holds it all together. Without that glue, the rest of the package will splinter and crumble.
Elder Ulisses Soares pointed out that the final events of the Savior’s life illustrate the centrality of charity in His character:
“Jesus perfectly exemplified what it means to own this bond of perfection and peace, especially when facing the agonizing events that preceded His martyrdom. Think for a moment about what Jesus must have felt as He humbly washed His disciples’ feet, knowing that one of them would betray Him that very night. Or when Jesus, hours later, mercifully healed the ear of one of the men who had accompanied Judas, His betrayer, to arrest Him. Or even when the Savior, standing in front of Pilate, was unfairly accused by the chief priests and elders, and not a word He uttered against the false charges against Him, and He left the Roman governor marveling.
Through these three tragic incidents, the Savior, despite being burdened with excessive sadness and stress, taught us by His example that “charity suffereth long, and is kind; … envieth not; … vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, [and] thinketh no evil.” (“Followers of the Prince of Peace,” General Conference, April 2023).
I recently heard this poem attributed to the Persian Poet, Hafiz. “Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.”
Love should always be selfless and kind, without any expectation of something in return. The sun never expects anything from the earth. Instead the sun keeps shining, providing light and warmth to all the creatures on this planet, without ever getting anything back. True love is the same and it can have a very powerful impact. With enough love we can light up the entire world and bring light to even the darkest areas, changing the world for the better one person at a time.
We have the opportunity to reflect the Son for all those we come in contact with. Listening with love will help meet the one thing we all have in common – the intense need to be seen and heard and to feel loved. As we share the love of Christ we will for more ofHis love for us.
Pres. Nelson shared this insight and invitation,
“the pure love of Christ is the answer to the contention that ails us today. Charity propels us “to bear one another’s burdens”16 rather than heap burdens upon each other. The pure love of Christ allows us “to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things”17—especially in tense situations. Charity allows us to demonstrate how men and women of Christ speak and act—especially when under fire.”
“I invite you to remember Jesus Christ. Pray to have the courage and wisdom to say or do what He would.” (Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, 2023.)
I would add, pray to see others as Jesus sees them. Pray to love them as He loves them. I know that this is a prayer He will always answer – most often immediately.
Pres. Nelson’s final thoughts,
“now is the time to lay aside bitterness. Now is the time to cease insisting that it is your way or no way. Now is the time to stop doing things that make others walk on eggshells for fear of upsetting you. Now is the time to bury your weapons of war.20 If your verbal arsenal is filled with insults and accusations, now is the time to put them away.21” (“Peacemakers Needed,” General Conference, April 2023).
Today, in my efforts to emulate the Savior, I will remember the significance of charity, not only as His most important attribute, but as the attribute which unifies and fortifies all of the others. Today I commit to listen with love – love for God and love for people, so that I may reflect God’s love and experience God’s love more fully.
I’d like to close with words from the Savior,
9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
“have peace one with another…” Mark 9:50
John 14: 2727 aPeace I leave with you, my bpeace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be ctroubled, neither let it be afraid.
Resigning as the General Manager of the Universe 