Family Friday

A Letter to My Daughters

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I actually started this post long before my day started and my #2 daughter called, stressed with being a parent.  “It must be fate,” I thought to myself.

Dearest children… parenting is hard.

Most people don’t want to admit it – out loud.  What if someone thought you weren’t being a good parent or didn’t love your children?  But face it… parenting is hard!  And amazing… and wonderful… and meaningful.

You are normal.  It is possible to love being a parent, but not like it all at the same time.  It is possible to love your children, without loving (or liking) every waking  (or sleeping) moment with them.

I chose to home school because I loved being with my kids.  I allowed my kids to sleep by me because I loved them (and we all slept more).  That doesn’t change the fact that some days were hard.

Frankly, I am comfortable with the conflicting emotions I sometimes felt about motherhood while my kids were young.  I was ok (still am) that parenting was hard and sometimes sucked, while at the same time parenting was fulfilling and meaningful and wonderful.

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Allowing my kids to have their own opinions was a tough lesson for me.  Sometimes kids don’t listen… but they are always watching.  I know my kids saw me.  I know they saw how I worship.  I know they saw me work.  I know they saw me learn.

Now children, who are now parents, you may be telling yourself, “It’s just me.  I’m alone in this.”

Some days were like that.  Some days were absolutely brutal,  Crushing loneliness exacerbated feelings of frustration I felt on a few long days.  I had my fair share of rough issues, not to mention your run-of-the-mill concerns.

I am here to tell you that no matter what you are going through now – a hard day, a hard month, a hard year, whether your baby never sleeps, or your toddler throws a fit, or kindergartner refuses to eat, You are not alone.  Whether you start second-guessing every parenting decision you’ve ever made or if you feel like “Super Mom” today, you are not alone.  Someone has been there before you.  ME!  Someone knows what you are going through.  ME!  Someone can relate, empathize, and understand.  ME!

ME! and about a billion other great moms that have survived parenting before you.

You now belong to the greatest groups ever!

If you ever feel like you are completely unqualified to be a grown up, let alone a parent…

If you feel, “I have absolutely no idea what I am doing here.”…

If you have ever cried your eyes out because your little one was hurt or in trouble and you didn’t know what to do…

If you have ever sat on the bathroom floor and pretended to use the facilities while scrolling Facebook with children pounding on the door and screaming your name, just to get a minute alone…

If you ever wondered how it’s possible to love someone that much while still not liking them…

If you have ever dropped a wad on college tuition only to clean booger and wipe butts and to refer to yourself in third person…

If you have ever felt your heart grow ten times all at once, cried tears of gratitude, and understood what they meant when they said being a parent is like carrying your heart outside your body…

THEN… you are doing it right…

And you are not alone.

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The thing is… kids grow up.

They make you proud.

They make you smile.

And the late nights, the lack of sleep, the tantrums, the sadness, the frustrations…

IT’S WORTH IT!

My children never kept me from doing anything… They WERE/ARE EVERYTHING!

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2 thoughts on “A Letter to My Daughters”

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